One Day last week I woke up to a Facebook post of an old friend stating that she tried to commit suicide. Immediately everyone began to encourage her telling her to hold on and the she matters has a purpose and is needed. Check on your friends and family. People wear smiles every single day and they may be hurting inside.
As black people most of us were raised with the teaching “oh i don’t need help”, “counseling is for white people”, or “ i don’t need anyone in my business”. Sometimes you have to reach out to people for help. Do not be afraid to ask for help. If you cannot call on your friends to help you when you are in need why do they have the privilege to be in your life?
We were not created to live our lives alone, in some way form or fashion we have to depend on one another to survive. If you are feeling some type of way and need someone to talk to reach out to a friend someone you can trust to listen and not judge you, we all need that sometimes there is nothing wrong with seeking help. If you do not want to talk to a friend from fear of them sharing your business find a professional there are programs that will offer counseling services for free or cheap. Talk to someone.
Hello lovies! I apologize for the hiatus. I wish that I could say I was off somewhere working on myself doing, self care sessions or working on something’s for you all but that is not the case. I honestly was just having some doubt and silencing my voice. I have written a few pieces I just didn’t post them, selfish huh?
I will begin sharing and encouraging again as it is something that I love to do and I always have something to say!! So be on the lookout for new blog posts!
People always say to me, “you’re so patient”. But they have no idea of the battle I’m fighting inside!! I am completely impatient, I suppose I just face it well. I’m impatient knowing what I want out of life. I’m impatient knowing that I am not there yet, and it gets frustrating. Starting in 2012 I started seeing this post, “you can’t rush something you want to last forever”, and the impatient me said “that’s crazy!”. I was thinking well the sooner it gets here the sooner I can enjoy it! The sooner I enjoy it the happier I’ll be! But how can you enjoy something that you aren’t ready for!? You can’t! I have a friend when we first met she cooked everything on high! I would ask her why did she cook on high, her response was because she didn’t want to wait. One day she called me and said “I just want you to know that I cooked in medium and I was starving, but it was good!” To me that represents daily life.. so quickly we want to get through it to get to the next day and the next weekend instead of savoring the little moments. When we rush things they seem great until they aren’t. Being patient breeds quality, value, and appreciation. The quality of something alone ensures that it will last. Quality indicates that it was created with love and patience. The things we value we take extra care of in an effort for it to keep its value. Appreciation by definition is the recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something. When we appreciate things we enjoy them a little better.
Therefore in life we must practice patience. Patience with our circumstances, our loved ones, and most importantly ourselves because is the understanding of growth and value.
I’ve heard people say that they hate this part about their self or that part. Every time I hear things like that I get a little sad. We have all heard the saying we teach people how to love us.
If we pick and choose what parts of ourselves that we love then others will do the same. We have to learn to love every inch of ourselves from the top to the bottom, front to back! EVERY SINGLE PART!
Everyone, even those who won’t admit it want to be loved in their entirety as they are in their most natural state. People want to be loved unconditionally through the good the bad and the ugly, so we must first love ourselves in that way.
It is easy to pick apart the smallest things that we do not like because we are our own worst critics. We see parts of ourselves as imperfect as if anyone is perfect. We can all sit and tear ourselves apart piece by piece but what good would that do? Then we would all walk around feeling unlovable and question every person who ever claimed to love us.
People will tell you that you are full of yourself, arrogant, or conceited but in reality that’s what you should be, as long as you aren’t a jerk. Who will love you like you do? Who will love you when no one else feels the need? Who will look at you and tell you that you are IT!?! If you do not first love yourself and tell yourself these things how can you teach anyone else to appreciate these things about you? Love starts within oneself.
Tonight before you go to bed tell yourself that you love you, every part of you! It all begins with you! Do all things with love. Xoxo
Self care is very important. I’m so happy that it is becoming a mainstream topic since mental health has been so “taboo”. But, self care isn’t just about doing things that you love.
Self care includes showing up for yourself and committing to yourself, making good decisions, and being able to check yourself when you are wrong.
Self care isn’t always as glamorous as being pampered, it often requires us to do the inside work. We have to stop and examine ourselves, doing a mental checklist of where we are and where we are going.
It’s easy to say “I’m going to start going to the gym”, “I’m going to eat better”, or “I’m going to start my own business”, the work is in starting and committing. Showing up for yourself is making a decision to move ahead no matter what. It’s deciding that you are going to do something and doing it with everything in you, that is self care!
Think about all of the things you said you wanted to do, but never did… when you think of them you may find yourself a tad bit disappointed. My former coach and life purpose cheerleader, Amber Valdez, always says “people who are not doing what makes them happy will grow into grumpy unhappy people”. Something so simple as volunteering at your favorite charity can be an act of self care because it fills your heart! No one is perfect, we all make mistakes but recognizing that mistake and choosing to correct it is an act of self care. A lot of us wallow in disappointment after making a bad decision, bringing us down even further, but if we acknowledge what we did wrong and do our very best not to do it again that is an act of self care.
Self care is an act of self love and you cannot pour from an empty cup. This week take the time to do something you’ve been putting off, examine yourself and how your decisions affect you! Remember to do these acts and all things with love! Xoxo
Forgiveness isn’t always easy but it is always necessary. People often believe that forgiveness means that they have to allow that person into their life, when that isn’t the case.
Forgiveness is the act of acknowledging what happened and moving forward… not harboring anger or hatred. It does not mean forgetting the past, approving of. Things that happen to you in life are just that what matters is how you respond! You can either rise in glory knowing that you will be better than ever or you can be sad and wallow in the pain and hurt.
I was watching a tv show where a young man’s father had been an abusive alcoholic who eventually abandoned him and his mother. The father wanted to meet with the son to apologize and clear his conscience. They met for lunch and the son snapped. Told him that he hated him and how he would do this and that to him. Clearly he met that situation with no love. I was kind of sad!
It is easy to be angry and hate a parent for leaving you, trust me I know, but what does that get you? Does being hurt justify hurting someone else? After tearing someone down do you feel better? If the answer is no then use that opportunity to practice love, even if from a distance. See the situation for what it is and be thankful for the experience.
There is always that what if factor but we cannot live in that. People make the decisions that best suit them for that time period in their life whether it is beneficial to you or not. Just like you at any given time you are doing your best, making the best decisions with the knowledge and experience that you currently have. Unless you’ve lived a perfect life, I’m sure there are things that we would all do over if we had the opportunity, so extend that same love and compassion to others who hurt you, knowing that you do not have to give them another chance if you don’t want to.
The things that once held you down will one day hold you up. Use your hurt to rise and make better decisions. Until next time meet all experiences and situations with love! xoxo
The same energy that causes the world to spin, makes the flowers bloom, and tells the sun to shine is the same energy that lives in you! That energy is what wakes you up in the morning.
Take the time to tap into that energy in whatever way pleases you. Whether it’s meditation, prayer, working out, whatever it may be! We have to always be connected to our power. We have to understand how powerful we really are. We let little things hold us back from doing great things! We spend too much time acknowledging all of the things that can go wrong instead of realizing the power that lives in us!
The flowers don’t say to one another, “you know a lot of people have allergies, let’s not bloom this year”. The sun doesn’t say “I’ve given a bunch of people skin problems over my days, maybe I should not come out”. We still need the plants to bloom and the sun to shine just like we need you!
Wake up every morning and be the very best version of yourself! show up because there is a force in you greater than words can explain! Know that you are powerful and have the ability to do anything you want!